Thursday, March 25, 2010

For the Love of Teaching


While the title of this post sounds negative, be prepared for the opposite.

After school yesterday I was on my way home (a short drive) thinking of how the day went. It didn't go as amazingly as Tuesday's class - but I didn't have a problem.

I was stopped at a light when the thought hit me, "I already miss school." I wasn't even a football field away and I was ready to go back. I was excited for the next day's (today's) lessons. I all of a sudden had a feeling of pure euphoria. The past couple weeks I've been challenged and I feel like I'm meeting that challenge. I'm doing what I can and I'm changing things up when necessary.

For instance, a big thing that is advocated in education classes (particularly Language Arts) is to do frequent (weekly) vocabulary quizzes. I tried that this week. It was absolutely awful. AWFUL. The kids hated it (but they did it) and we've spent all our time on it! We haven't even started talking about the novel - which is kind of a blessing in disguise as I haven't read it yet (whoops). Next week we will be doing something different - I don't know what, but we will be doing something different. It just didn't work in the classroom.

I love that I have this kind of flexibility. I love that I can look at what I'm doing, say this isn't working, and try something different! It's absolutely fantastic! The kids aren't absolutely in love with me - but they do what I ask them to and I haven't had any disciplinary issues.

I'd say - all in all - this has been a fantastic week and I'm already excited for Monday (yes, it's Thursday).

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Grading

Today I discovered that I absolutely hate grading.

It's not what you think, though. I don't mind grading students work; with an 80 minute prep period, 30 minute study hall, 30 minute lunch, and 20 minutes after school - I find that MOST of my grading is done by the time I leave school (that is if I can continue to stay on top of things). This way, students get almost instantaneous response (24 hours).

I like students to know exactly where they stand in the class. A couple semesters ago (as a college student in an education class!) I was surprised by my grade at the end of the semester. This particular teacher hadn't said a word to me all term, there was no daily work, and there were no exams. I thought I had done particularly well in this class, it was an experience tutoring "at risk" readers - this is my passion after all! At the end of the term I discovered that this particular professor had given me a C -- a C! I confronted the professor and asked why and what this grade was based off of. He sighed and said, "Reagan, I just don't think you have the personality of a teacher."

Is your jaw dropped? Because mine sure was.

I then may have even mentioned to the professor that I thought it was unfair as basically the first thing they teach us in education classes is that students should never have to guess how they are doing in a class. I've gotten past that and moved on (obviously). But I'll never forget what it was like to have no idea what my grade was.

Moving on.

I've been keeping grades for my two classes (British Literature) in two separate Excel documents. I update them when students hand in work and I've been really good about double checking everything. I have a manila folder marked "Grade" for the assignments I need to finish grading at home (but like I said, I never have more than a few assignments in there at the end of the day). I've been feeling pretty comfortable with my system ... until today.

Today I entered the grades into the computer. Parents and students can check their grades online. All of a sudden I started second guessing myself and worrying about who turned what in. Because I have yet to have everyone show up for class (and have barely surpassed having everyone show up for speech) I have found that I'm constantly "catching people up" on what they missed. This is exhausting!

But ... the grades had to be entered.

I'm disappointed in my students' grades. Everything's been pretty easy - do it and you get the points. I want my students to succeed, but the only way to do more for them at this point is to do the work for them! I haven't had anything with heavy points yet - 15, 27, and 30 - and like I said, it's all been pretty straight forward.

But...I will trudge through this grading process (and hopefully get used to it!). Also, I think I need to remain confident in my system. I check everything twice and I tell the students weekly what they are missing and no one has said - "I turned that in!"

I can't think of a sufficient ending for this post. This will have to suffice. Don't grade me on it!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Monday, Monday!

I've definitely got a case of the "Monday." Despite going to bed early, I woke up at six and decided to forgo (and yes, that is the correct spelling) the work out for an extra hour of sleep. 

When I finally did wake up I struggled to get ready for the day; I was determined to start this week off right and I was excited for the days activities.

For British Literature we played a "Would You Rather" icebreaker activity, reviewed material from last Wednesday, took a Vocabulary pre-test, and did a Spy/Research Activity. The students "became spies" and had to answer 12 questions individually, in pairs, or in a group of three in regards to background knowledge of WWII. They then had to come up with a creative idea to get this information to headquarters without it being intercepted by the enemy. I was only planning on giving them a day to do it, but they worked really hard (very little talking!) and only got through half of the questions. I told them that tomorrow I'd give them twenty minutes to work and then we'd present material. I was very pleased with how they worked and treated me. They were still expressionless - but I think the fun "Would you rather" activity lightened the mood a bit.

As for speech, this went just as well. I handed back everything I had graded and told the students that they would be doing a quick 60 second introduction speech in a half an hour.

They were not happy.

I gave them a note card and told them the basics: don't read directly from the card, pick a topic (I gave 12 samples), outline...etc. I then told them that after the speeches we would be doing something fun. They, of course, asked "what?" And (with a little bit of excitement) I said, "We'll be watching "'A Knight's Tale.'" I'm excited because this is a modern movie that really relates to giving introduction speeches. To my surprise, only one student claimed to have seen the movie before!

I didn't want to show a movie purposelessly and this movie definitely has purpose in this class - even more than I had thought. After listening to the 60 second speeches it was apparent no one used the note card I gave them, no one practiced, and no one really followed directions. I let them suffer through their sixty seconds and at the end I asked them what they thought they would differently. They all agreed that next time they'll practice their speech and not just "wing" it. I also brought up all the "ums," "uhs," "sos," and "ands." I told them that while I too need to work on this while teaching, now that they are aware of it hopefully they can reduce these "filler" words.

After the sweating - we watched the movie. I told them prior to going into the theater that I will be asking them what the character Chaucer did well when presenting Elrich before the joust. I warned that if I don't get any discussion at the end of the movie we won't be watching anymore films. I really hope they participate because I think there are a lot of fun things I could do with them.


So overall - I think today went really well! We will see how tomorrow goes! And the picture is just because he's so nice to look at. :-)

Sunday, March 21, 2010

My Life as a Student Teacher

This is part one of a two part series (sounds all sorts of professional doesn't it). This will be published in the University paper this Wednesday.

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My Life as a Student Teacher
On March 1st, student teachers were finally sent off into the classrooms of their cooperating school districts. The weeks leading up to this release were long; I couldn’t wait to get back into the classroom. I hadn’t had a classroom experience since last Spring when I participated in my Junior Field. That field experience was a complete success; it sparked a passion and drive for teaching that I didn’t know was possible.
For education majors, student teaching is something to look forward too and something to get you through the hours of education classes. Student teaching for me was a realization that “this is it.” Upon entering my cooperating school for the first time, I couldn’t help but feel excited, anxious, nervous, and over all … ready. I had been waiting for this moment for three years, ever since I transferred at the beginning of my sophomore year. This is what all the hours of lesson planning and studying were for.  This is what all the time and money for the several Praxis exams were preparing me for.
“This is it.” I remember thinking that while walking into the school. “This is where I succeed or where I fail.”
Now the classes that education majors take do a great job preparing you to teach, but because most of what is taught is theoretical, take it from me – you’ll need this information.
First of all, student teaching is absolutely exhausting. You go from taking a couple classes sporadically throughout the day and evening (hardly ever in the morning) to taking classes from 8-12pm everyday during professional blocks. I won’t lie, when I was taking those classes it took a lot out of me to just get out of bed in time! But all of a sudden, once you begin student teaching, you are expected to look presentable (no sweats and no rain boots) by 7:30am and to be cheerful and excited nonstop until 3:20 (again, generally speaking). Furthermore, you are expected to participate in extracurricular activities with your cooperating teacher. In my case, I have play rehearsal until 6:30 or 7 (and sometimes even 8pm)!
Then you have to account for the hours of lesson planning; yes, I said hours. On average, I spend about an hour and a half to two hours preparing every single lesson. With block scheduling, I’m required to teach two classes a day. That’s three and a half hours preparing lessons! Yes, I have a planning period – but there are things to be done then as well! What with drama club meetings and students just popping in to say hello, you can’t rely on those times to get things done. This same rule applies to before school and after school ‘prep’ periods. You can’t sacrifice building relationships with students to “catch up” on work you should have completed the night (or nights) before.
After you’ve prepared the lesson – you must grade the assignments from the previous lesson. This also takes time, especially when you aren’t dealing with a multiple choice/true or false type of assessment! As a Language Arts student teacher, I grade several essays a night.
Then, finally, there’s spending time with the boyfriend, the best friend/coworker who is feeling neglected, the best friend who is getting married and needs you to try on “maid of honor” dresses, the best friend who is also student teaching and who needs to vent, and of course the residents you feel you’ve neglected (or maybe this is all just me). But it doesn’t end there! There’s campus meetings, work, outside activities, and Exponent articles that need to be taken into consideration.  At this point in your life, you’re also starting to apply for jobs! That process alone is overwhelming. And God forbid, you save some time to work out and stay healthy!
Needless to say – be prepared to be exhausted. As a severe planner, I thought I had this whole thing under control and that it would be “easy peasy.” Even I, the type A personality, had to adjust to this type of exhaustion (and it’s still a constant struggle).
Secondly, wash your hands and bring disinfectant. My second day of student teaching  I all of a sudden got very ill. Turns out, my cooperating teacher had the flu all weekend. I thought I could “tough” through it, but it wasn’t possible and a few minutes later my understanding cooperating teacher sent me home. Thank goodness! I was ill for two days straight! The next morning he calls me and asks how I’m feeling, I say I’m doing a lot better, and he says, “Don’t come in today.” I ask why and he replies that in about three hours I’m going to hit absolute rock bottom. Come ten o’clock, I thought I was about to croak! I could barely function! I’m so grateful to have such a great understanding cooperating teacher (well, really, he should be. He gave the “bug” to me!).  Even after I returned to school on Thursday of that first week, the smallest thing would take my breath away. Walking to my car became a chore and climbing the stairs to third floor Briscoe was nearly impossible. Take it from me – wash your hands constantly, eat healthy, get lots of sleep, work out, and disinfect everything. Do everything you need to in order to keep yourself healthy.
Be prepared to miss the classroom. When I returned after being sick, I was so surprised at how many students had already missed me (and yes, they were being sincere). Many of them asked how I was feeling and offered to help in any way that they could. I wasn’t prepared for this kind of attachment so early on in the experience. I was still only observing! That first weekend, while I was so thankful for the extra hours of sleep, I started to miss the students and the classroom. Believe it or not, I was ready to return to class on Monday morning (despite the 6:30am wake up).
And finally, be prepared to put all those hours of “theory” that Northern has equipped it’s students with into practice. After my junior field experience I had no doubt in my mind that I wanted to be an English teacher. I was going to enter the classroom and inspire and instill passion in my students. I was hopeful and I was ready. Teaching is so often times idealized into a fantasy that many people (including me) commit to. I was going to be like the teacher from “Freedom Writers.” I was going to do it all.
While I still have that passion, don’t get me wrong, I’ve also realized that being in the classroom isn’t always an amazing experience. Students misbehave, I have to be “the bad guy” sometimes, students don’t always like the fun activities I’ve spent hours preparing, and I don’t always get to teach something I’m excited about. Even though I’ve only been student teaching for a couple weeks, I’ve realized that I’m not going to change the world every day. I’m going to change the world one day and one student at a time. It might not be possible for me to reach a whole classroom every day, but if I can reach one or two or five students a day – slowly, but surely, I’ll make a difference. And that’s why I went into teaching in the first place. Stay tuned to find out what has changed by the end of my experience come the end of April.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Week Three

Monday was my first day actually teaching. I wasn't as nervous as I thought I'd be, I was only responsible for one class - Speech. I planned on spending a half hour of my eighty minutes doing fun "ice breakers"/introductions. I had the students go around saying their names and their favorite movie; after each student went I said something along the lines of "It's nice to meet you, [insert name here]." I found that this activity really helped me to get to know the students. I then had the students tell me the three people they would take with them on a deserted island. Finally, after warning students that everything had to be school appropriate or we couldn't continue to do fun activities like this, I had student come up with "Would you rather" questions that as a class we answered. Overall, I was pretty happy with this time. I feel that it helped me to get to know my students names - by the end of the period I had everyone's names down. Granted, 15 of my 32 students showed up - but still, I think it's impressive. We spent the rest of the hour going over the course syllabus and then a quotation activity that I made.

I had put together a hundred famous movie (mostly), book, and famous speech quotations. These quotations included quotes from "Gone With the Wind," "Pirates of the Carribbean," "Pride and Prejudice," "The Hangover," "Step Brothers," "Batman," etc. I then gave the students the rest of the period to first try to get as many as possible answered on their own and then in small groups. We ran out of time and Tuesday I let them use the computers to look up the rest of the quotes. Tuesday we also worked on a study guide for the chapter in the book. I was feeling pretty good about how my relationship with the students was going.

Wednesday, the first day I'd be teaching officially "full time" as I'd be responsible for two classes, Speech didn't go as well. The students were blantantly unresponsive to anything I threw at them. I tried discussing how class was going. I gave them the opportunity to vote on the order of nine speeches they would be responsible for giving. Finally, when I realized that no matter what I did they just weren't going to give me even a pity laugh or smile, I took them out in the hall and we played "electricity" followed by "the human knot." (I had disinfectant for hands.)

Finally, the students began to respond. I took them back into the classroom and was really excited about this second activity that I had planned. Each student was to find five famous movie quotations and write them down. Then, after breaking into teams of five, the students would read their quotes and the teams that identified the movie that the quote was from. The team that had the most answers would win a prize next Monday after the long break. I asked my CT (Cooperating Teacher) if I could bring in food before hand - and because I don't necessarily agree with giving students candy in the classroom, I have purchased a bag of apples and oranges.

This activity didn't go according to plan. First of all, they didn't follow the directions or the work sheet. So for many of the quotes they wrote down they couldn't identify the movie title, actor/actress, or character as hints for their fellow students. Some of the quotes I could help out with - being the movie buff that I am. When I could, I would give hints such as - "This movie stars Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom," or "This movie is based off a book series and is the first of four. The new movie will be released this weekend," etc. Also, the students weren't enjoying it - I could tell just by the look on their faces.

British Literature, my first day teaching, didn't go very well either. All seniors, these students didn't react to my attempts either. The students also hated my introduction/ice breaker ideas. Well, not all of them - the boys actually really enjoyed it. But  They stared at me and, unlike my speech class, continued to talk while I attempted to lead a class discussion. I am teaching "All Quiet on the Western Front," which I have yet to read yet (whoops!). So we spent the eighty minutes learning about the author Erich Remarque and the novel. Because I have to show that learning takes place, I administered both a pre and post test for both the author and novel. The students thought this is was absolutely ridiculous. But what could I do?

Finally, the dreaded vocabulary list. Students hate vocabulary. I hate vocabulary. "All Quiet on the Western Front" has 106 suggested vocabulary words. So, thinking I'm clever, doing them a favor, and saving my own time grading, I thought it would be nice to have a vocabulary pretest. I told them it wasn't graded and that if 80% of the students got a word right, I would cross it off the list. The students absolutely hated this - but they did it because the fewer words the better. I'm not finished looking at all the words, I've probably got through 25. But of the 25, I was able to deleted eight words! So, while I don't think this was a complete waste of time, it's a lot of hard work and analysis.

To conclude - this week was...odd. People ask me how it went and I don't know what to say. One day was great, the next I struggled. It's spring break so I have today and tomorrow off. I plan on definitely re-evaluating my strategy and coming up with a variety of different lessons for next week. It was great sleeping in today. My body woke me up at 7am (odd, because when I DO have school I don't roll out of bed until 7:20) but I went back to bed and slept until 10am. I then woke up, took my time getting ready, bummed around my room listening to "The Devil Wears Prada" and am now getting ready to go to my SECOND interview! Wish me luck!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Week 2 Recap

I know, I'm behind in my posts. Week two went by so fast because Thursday and Friday we didn't have school. Monday and Tuesday I continued to observe my cooperating teacher - which is pretty easy. I just sit there.

However, on Wednesday, Mr. CT (cooperating teacher) had to leave early for a meeting so he left me in charge from 2:45 until school gets out at 3:10pm ... with freshmen.

This was not a good day at school. It was the last day of the term, all the grades were in, and I was left alone with the freshmen speech class. We were in the theater so there were students seated everywhere and we were doing impromptu speeches. I'd call a student up to the stage and they'd have to answer a question for 60 seconds. Questions were simply (probably a little too simple) and students had a hard time answering them longer than 15 seconds. So students in the audience would ask questions.

This didn't go well. The student were absolutely rude, not only to me but to each other. The snide comments and the "cliche-y" attitudes quickly started sinking my boat of excitement. I tried to bring the students back in, but it was no use. I could only wait for the bell to ring.

Disappointment quickly settled in my gut: "maybe this isn't for me," "how on earth am I going to manage my class," "how can I get these students to respect me?" etc etc. It was a very rough ride home. Immediately, I called my mom. She made me feel a bit better explaining that these freshmen knew they wouldn't see me again (unless I get the job) and that grades were already in so they really had no reason to respect or pay attention to me.


But still, I couldn't help but feel unprepared. During my junior field I didn't have a problem - the kids all listened to me and respected me. But, that school was a lot smaller and rather than 32 students in a class they had 20 at the most. Nonetheless, I was disappointed. I started thinking that maybe I'd rather apply for library specialists positions and take online classes to get certification. After all, I love books and I love talking books. Library media has little homework or preparation and the best of all - little disciplinary needs.

But after calming down a bit, I realized that I just need to find my own style of discipline. I don't look like an authority figure so I can't rely on my physical presence. But I'm sure I'll figure something out - I have too, next week I start teaching.

This is also nerve racking because Monday I'll be teaching the new Speech class. Unfortunately this class is filled with everyone who has already failed the class. I wasn't going to let that put me down - until four teachers came up to me apologizing for such a "tough break." This made me nervous so Mr. CT and I looked more closely at the roster. Every single student is flagged for behavioral (mostly attitude) issues. Furthermore, most people HATE speech. I hate speech and I went to State Speech. How on earth am I going to get this class to survive speech, much less like it.

Well, like I said, I'll figure something out - I have too. Overall, it's been a rough week that has really challenged my desire to teach. It will only get worse so "buck up."

Wish me luck. :/

Student Teaching Week 1 Recap

Well, week one of student teaching was anything but typical. First day, first interview, first illness as a result of many sick students (and one cooperating teacher).

Take a moment and laugh (for my sake).

But really, I'd say that the first week was a success. I recovered by Saturday morning (mostly) and by Week 2, no one would know I was sick.

Week Two: Observing

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Student Teaching Days 2 and 3

Well, I've already mentioned that on Student Teaching Day 2 I had my interview at 10am. What I didn't mention was that at about 1pm during my prep period I got extremely sick.

Apparently, my cooperating teacher got sick that weekend.

At first I didn't know what was going on. I just had a stomach pain. I won't go into all the gory details but - let's just say I was miserable.

Thank goodness it was my prep period, so Teacher and I were in his classroom putting together materials for callbacks for the musical and my stomach was just not settling. I had to stop what I was doing and hold still. I then asked him, because they lock the faculty bathrooms down the the hallway, where his keys were, just in case.

He looked at me, "Really?"

Really.

He put his eyes on his desk and said if I need to - just go. About three minutes later (not kidding), I grabbed the keys and took off running. I barely made it - but I made it.

When I returned to the classroom a couple minutes later I felt so much better, but was in desperate need of gum. Teacher didn't have gum, only hard life saver candies. As stated, I was desperate.

Bad idea.

Ten minutes later -- again, I won't get into too much detail.

Needless to say, when I returned to class the second time, our prep period was almost up. Teacher looked at my sympathetically, "Why don't you just go home?"

"Oh no, I can make it one more class period." I sat down. Students started coming in, before they had even sat down I was grabbing for my things, "I'm going to go."

"Okay, if I don't see you tomorrow, I'll just assume your sick." Teacher said.

I was supposed to attend Read America with a class of mine at 4pm at the mall. This is mandatory if you want an A. So of course I went. The professor in charge of the course was not sympathetic, but an assistant professor who actually knows my family, was (thank goodness). She liked at me, all pale and sickly, and said, "Go home before you get us all sick."

I stuck it out for an hour; I even read to a couple kids from a safe distance. When that friendly teacher saw me still there, she approached me, "Reagan, what are you still doing here? Go home. You look awful" (Insert joke here).

I looked at her. "I want that A."

She smiled and told me that she would vouch for me with that hardened professor.

I left.

I slept.

I slept.

Wednesday I woke up, considering going to school. I felt okay. As a student teacher, I only get three absences before I have to make them up. I checked my phone (I get my email to my blackberry) and had an email from Teacher, "Don't come to school today. You're probably feeling better, but in about three hours you'll hit absolute bottom. It's fine. Sicknesses are excused." Relieved, I fell back to sleep.

I slept the rest of Wednesday.

Thursday I returned to school, not quite 100%, but close. I was still extremely tired and would lose my breathe easily. But my students, who had only been with me a day and half, all looked at me sincerely and asked how I was feeling.

It felt amazing to be missed - even though I just sat there Monday and that bit of Tuesday and observed. It felt like they were my students.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

First Interview

Last Tuesday I went to my very first professional job interview. I wasn't very nervous - had to much going on (what with it only being my second day of student teaching) so really even think about it. I was confident (but not overly confident) and I was ready.

When the time came to head down to the office (as I applied to the same school where I student teach - the Dream Job school), my heart began to race and I started to sweat. When I got to the office I introduced myself and took a seat, waiting for them to call my name. I, of course, got there fifteen minutes early and, the nerd and bibliophile that I am, did not want to wast fifteen minutes just sitting there. So I came prepared with a copy of "All Quiet on the Western Front," the first book I'll be expected to teach.

Amazingly, with each sentence read my heart beat slowed and my breathing returned to normal. I can't recall anything that I read, but the familiar act of simply reading calmed all of my nerves. When the Assistant Principal came to get me, not only did she find me reading, she found me relaxed. She walked me into the interview room; by that time, I didn't have time to be nervous.

I sat, I smiled, I laughed, and I talked passionately, appropriately, honestly, and accurately.

The interview went extremely well. I am happy with everything I said; I'm glad that if I don't get the job it won't because I didn't interview well due to nerves.

After that interview, where we mostly talked about me being a teacher, I headed to Interview Part II, with the Principal. This interview, while I'm still happy, didn't go as well as the first. I think I still did well and I still represented myself in the best and most honest way possible; it was just a different setting.

They said they'd let me know by Friday (that was last Friday). Each day I get less and less anxious and assume more and more I didn't get the job. I won't be extremely upset if I don't get the job, as there is another job opportunity about twenty miles away, but we'll see.

A principal that I worked with during my Junior Field last spring called and told me that the just got off the phone with a principal at the other school district hiring (the one twenty miles away) and told him that he highly recommended me. He told me to get my application in and they could let me know right away.

So, I'm getting my application in today. It's already sealed.

Let whatever happens - happen.

Needless to say - the cartoon doesn't depict how I felt during my interview. I just thought it was funny.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

First Day of Student Teaching

 

My first day of student teaching was an...experience. This is how it went:

Well, first of all, I need to explain. I don't like florescent lights so I only use lamps in my room. I have a lamp on my book case and a lamp above my desk and mini lamps all around. The lamp on my bookcase is my primary source of light.
I wake up, about 6:00 on Monday morning, breathe in deep (I am so ready for this day), reach for my lamp, and .... nothing. My light went out.

Okay, I'm not going to let this get to me. So I get up, turn on the other lamps and get ready to go to the shower. Remember, I'm an RA in the dorms; I grab my robe, a towel (for my hair), my basket full of shower things, and (of course) my shower shoes! Now I'm generally not up this early, so I didn't expect that everyone (and practically their mothers!) showered at that time. Needless to say, I have the coldest shower I've ever taken. BRRR! I then go to brush my teeth and do all that business, but when I go to grab a paper towel - there's nothing!

But, that's not a big deal. I return to my room, get pretty, and gather my things to leave. Now, like any nervous young student...er teacher (oxymoron much) I had everything out for me: my first outfit, my packed lunch, my ID, a book (just in case). I take everything and look at the clock, 7:20am. A little behind, but I'm only a couple blocks away. 

I head outside and...whoops, I forgot that I live in South Dakota. Frost covers my entire car. As I am scraping off the white flakes as fast as possible, all I can think of is "If I get this job full time, I'm getting a garage. I don't care how much more expensive it is. I'm getting a garage."
After my car is free of frost, I'm finally on my way. T created a wonderful Beatles CD for me for Valentines Day and I thought it was the perfect music for the five minute drive there. As I park, grab my bookbag, lunch, and water bottle, I look at the school with wide eyes and begin walking towards it. This is the moment I've been waiting for. This is what the last three years of my life has led up to. This is it. I enter the doors and head towards the office. I sign in as a guest, being as polite as possible to the secretaries (my mom always said the people you want to make friends with on the first day are the secretaries, food service staff, janitorial staff, and aides). I put my "badge" on and leave the office.
The school is beginning to fill, students loiter in the commons area. Some are reading, most are chatting.  Don't freak out, I think. I make my way to my, well my cooperating teacher's, classroom. The lights are off. 7:35am. He's not here. Perfectly, there is a chair outside the door. I sit down, extremely conscious of all the students staring at me as they walk the halls, pull out the book I was reading, "Alphatudes," and read at my leisure. 

At 7:50, my cooperating teacher walks up and says, "Oh, how long have you been here." I smile sweetly and (of course) say, "Oh only a couple minutes." Turns out, the classroom wasn't locked, so I could have walked right in. He doesn't have a desk set up for me, but I was prepared for this. There is a student's desk sort of away from the others that I designate as mine. I take off my coat, put my lunch down, empty the important things from my bag onto my desk (planner, pen, notebook, and "Alphatudes"), and sit. Ready for the day to begin.

First class. 12th grade British Literature. They are reading Macbeth - pretty much the only Shakespeare play I haven't read. They all stare at me. I introduce myself, for the very first time out loud, as Miss Remmers. A flash of something crawls up my spine. It wasn't entering the school that I had been anticipating. It was this. This simple recognition that I am, without a doubt, Miss Remmers. I've been known as Miss Remmers via the blogosphere and Twitter for about 8 months. But I have never been "Miss Remmers" out loud, in 'the real world', until now.

I continued to observe the rest of the day. Students continued to look at me and I continued to sit their awkwardly. My cooperating teacher, the great guy that he is, had the tech fellows set me up with my very own official email account through the state! This was extremely exciting as I now receive all official school emails (I love emails). After school, I promptly configured the email to my Blackberry (I love my life).

Lunch was ... different. T helped me pack an extremely healthy lunch. I had grapes, water, a peanut butter sandwich, apple fruit leather, a CLIF bar, some raisins, and some carrots. I'm generally not a very healthy eater - but I was so hungry I ate it all! 

I was then informed that auditions for the musical, Annie, were at five. Now, my cooperating teacher (also the Theater Director) did not ask me to participate in his extracurricular activities. But, if I am to teach in a rural area, it's generally on the English teacher to be in charge of theater. So I'm definitely going to need the experience. Also, my "Dream Job" is at this school - it will only help if I involve myself in extracurriculars. And finally, I want to be involved with my students outside of class. 

After school I headed back to campus to check my mail (I received a couple of books) and to run some other errands, before returning to school for auditions at five. I had to return to campus by seven as I was duty, but I stayed for two hours - watching students sing, dance, and read the parts they so desperately wanted.

At seven when I returned to school - I was utterly and completely exhausted.

I have never felt such exhaustion before.