Awkward Moment

Yesterday, in the same class that we had that great discussion on "The Power of Words," I read the sixth chapter aloud. It was a short chapter and the students asked me to read it; I obliged.

Now, this is my own fault. I'm having a hard time getting into "1984" and have barely been keeping up with my students. For instance, when I gave them time to read Chapter Five, I was reading Chapter Five too. So far, this had gone well. Until yesterday when I somehow got asked to read Chapter 6. I will say that I don't think these students knew what Chapter 6 was about, as many of them hadn't finished Chapter 5.

Chapter 6, of "1984" is about marriage and sex. This chapter talks about fortification, masturbation, and prostitution.

Did your jaw drop? Mine sure did after reading (aloud) the first two pages. It was a short chapter (thank goodness) that couldn't end soon enough. When it did end, I looked up at my class of seniors and saw a few suppressed giggles and smiles. I could think of nothing to say except, "Well that was awkward."

The Power of Words

When reading 1984 I came across this paragraph:

"It's a beautiful thing, the destruction of words. Of course the great wastage is in the verbs and adjectives, but there are hundreds of nouns that can be got rid of as well. It isn't only the synonyms; there are also the antonyms. After all, what justification is there for a word which is simply the opposite of some other words? A good word contains its opposite in itself. Take 'good,' for instance. If you have a word like 'good,' what need is there for a word like 'bad'? 'Ungood' will do just as well - better, because it's an exact opposite, which the other is not. Or again, if you want a stronger version of 'good,' what sense is there in having a whole string of vague useless words like 'excellent' and 'splendid' and all the rest of them? 'Plusgood' covers the meaning, or 'doubleplusgood' if you want something stronger still. . . In the end the whole notion of goodness and badness will be covered by only six words - in reality only one word" (Orwell 45).

After reading this, I became extremely sad. My class and I had a really great discussion about the power of words and how horrible it would be if the perfect adjective for something particular no longer existed. I used the example of "wicked." When describing a witch you wouldn't say that "ungood" witch - that takes so much of the feeling away! This, of course, is the purpose in the novel. I think that the class really understood this discussion and I was really happy with how "into" it they were.

I'm so glad I have all these great adjectives: fantastic, excellent, outstanding, etc. I can't imagine life without them.

Not Feeling Like the "Best Student Teacher"

Physically, that is not me.  Emotionally, and mentally ... it is. Today was the first day back after a three day weekend and prom. Everything went well in my British Literature Class and in Speech (we are doing Award Speeches) I was given 3 "Best Student Teacher" awards.

That should have made my day . . . but it didn't.

I have one particular student that has constantly been treating me with disrespect and "'tude" for about a week now. I don't know if it is the weather or what, but I cannot get through to this student. He wastes his time in class and he is constantly disrespectful towards me in front of the class. It is this disrespect that is wearing me down. At first I looked at this student as a challenge, that if I worked hard enough I could figure it out. While I still want to believe that, the truth is I'm tired. I'm tired of dreading class because of this student and I'm tired of fighting everyday. This student's attitude is ruining the entire class atmosphere.

He gave a speech the other day that was the shortest of all, embarrassingly so, (It was supposed to be a minute and he spoke for 20 seconds). He neither persuaded his audience (me) to purchase any of the things he was trying to sell nor did he inform us as to what the objects were useful or necessary for (apart from listing them). That's all he did. But he did spend the entire hour in the costume shop coming up with the most outrageous costume. So, of course when we voted, the class voted for him. He didn't follow directions and gave a poor speech. But because he won his classmates' over - I did give him extra credit. With this extra credit he went from a C to a B.

And he was mad! He told me he deserved an A! And then he wanted to argue! At this point I'm so frustrated. I hate the idea of detention and sending students to the office. Not because I'm afraid to be hated (I'm an RA after all), but because I don't like taking students out of the classroom. That is my number one pet peeve. Too many teachers just send their misbehaving students to the office because they don't want to deal with it. This kind of relationship with students and teaching is, in my opinion, a disgrace. I know that once a student disrupts the class to the point where others aren't learning, they need to be removed. But I really think that some how, some way, I can get this particular student to survive this class. I want him to survive and I want him to succeed.

But I, too, need to survive.

TGIF: For Sleeps Sake

I. Am. So. Tired.

I plan on running some errands, maybe working out, and then sleeping.

Then I need to shower, get perky, and go to dinner with T and his family (for the very first time). Tonight T and I are going to some friends to watch last weeks episode of LIFE. But I can't stay out too long as tomorrow morning I'm taking my last Praxis Exam - the PPLT. I'm not really sure what the acronym is ... but I'm not too worried about it (just yet).

Happy Friday everyone!

Student Recognition vs Avoidance

This morning while walking into school I passed a student who I have in one of my classes. This student is one I say "Good Morning" to every morning. But today, while passing in the hall, he didn't even look at me. While not exactly "hurt," I was a bit annoyed with this avoidance, especially because in class he's so friendly.

I didn't let this get me down and I continued with my day. When said student came to class a few minutes later I offered my usual "Good Morning," and he responded, "Good Morning, Miss Remmers."

But then, during my prep period 80 minutes later, I was walking to the print shop and I saw another student. Yesterday I had to continually talk to him about "losing the 'tude" and being more respectful. Today, I see him off to the side of the commons (new hair cut and hall) and he not only waves, but calls out to me too - "Good morning Miss Remmers!" In front of all of his peers!

I'm not sure how this works - but that little bit of recognition that I do actually exist ... I couldn't help but smile! I am now on a mission to say "Good Morning" or "Good Afternoon" to everyone I meet in the hallways.

Good Morning.

Ouch

Well the sun is out and the weather is beautiful. So for the first time I wore a nice pair of dress sandals from last summer to school (no, the above picture is not me).

As soon as I am home, these dreaded (but beautiful) shoes will be in the "donate" box. Absolutely ridiculous! I didn't bleed - but I very well could have! There is absolutely NOTHING more intolerable than teaching in bad shoes!

Tomorrow I return to my comfortable shoes.

OUCH!

Update and the end of the ever-feared Job Hunt!

So, it's been a long time since my last post and SO much has happened.  I interviewed at a school down by Sioux Falls on Friday, was on duty all weekend in the dorms, interviewed at a small local school on Monday, was offered the job on site, I then interviewed at another larger school near Sioux Falls on Tuesday, was offered the job on site, and accepted that position on Wednesday morning. What a ride!

I apologize for this Blog Neglect (see funny picture).

Wait, you want to hear about my amazing new job?! Okay! It's a larger district, much larger than anywhere I thought I'd actually work. The school is new (this year) and, get this, the school library is also the community library. There is a community door to the outside of the 'bray and the door that connects the library to the school. This means that this library is "super-funded" (well, maybe not "super - but at least well-funded). I am so excited! The building is super nice - "Home of the Lynx!" and my room has a SmartBoard. The other two 9th grade reading teachers are both female and in their fifth years of teaching.

Oh, but I forgot to mention HOW I got the job. I interviewed at 1pm (after spending the morning in the local Barnes and Noble). Since I already had a job I literally walked in and we just talked about everything that mattered to me - books and students. They were extremely friendly and the interview went really well. Afterward, the secretary took me on a tour of the school. About halfway through the tour the intercom came on and asked that the secretary return with her guest to the office. After the tour, we returned to the office. I had to wait about thirty minutes (I got a lot read from "The Princess and the Bear"). Then, after the other applicant left, they asked me to come back in. Two others were in the conference room; they introduced themselves as the other Reading 9 teachers. We talked for a few minutes but they were very friendly; they seemed like people that I would like to hang out with outside of class. After that I got up to leave and the principal came back in and asked me to sit.

He then offered me the position! Less than an hour later, my mom calls saying the principal called her to tell her how well my interview went and that "even if she [I] decides [decide] not to join their family, she [I] will succeed wherever she [I] decide to go." (What a crazy sentence!) He also called my CT (Cooperating Teacher) and my Principal!

I didn't really know what to say then - so he gave me 24 hours to decide.  It was a rough ride home, I spent most of the drive on the phone talking to family and friends before I finally made a decision. When I had about 20 miles left I knew what I wanted, but there was one other person to talk to. T. When I finally called him, he was as supportive as I knew he would be. He completely understood and thought that this particular school, even though it was further away, was the best choice. He was so excited for me!

I called both principals on Wednesday morning. I called the school I was declining first. That went extremely well - nothing to fear. Then I called my "chosen" school and accepted. The principal was so excited and genuinely happy. He said he'd get my contract in the mail and that soon after I graduate he'd like to invite me back to do a day of observing, get materials, get keys, and look for apartments ect.

Wow. I've finally got a job and it's an absolute dream! I am so excited! Even though it's not what I expected, this job is everything I've wanted. It seems like a mini-Northern; I'll have plenty of opportunities for leadership and I'll get to know everyone really well. This week they are doing a "Dancing with the Staff" to raise money for a faculty member adopting a baby from China. The students who chose to participate picked a staff member to be their partner. The gym will be filled and the judges will choose who to eliminate! How exciting!

I won't say where the job is - but I will say one thing ... despite my fear of cats: "Go Lynx!"

Reading Hero

I saw this online and couldn't help but share it with you all. What an inspiration!

Easter is Cancelled

After how well my observation went last Thursday - it'd be crazy for me to hope the Tuesday four days later would be the same.

It was a pretty rough day. My British Literature kids were tired and nearly unresponsive. They did do what I asked them ... but forget about light jokes or any kind of actual conversation.

Speech was the exact opposite. All they wanted to do was talk - normally, seeing as it is SPEECH class, I'd find an activity for them to do. BUT we didn't do an "official" speech last week and we only have four days to pick a topic, research, and prepare for the Informative Speeches on Friday. So...really, not counting today's class - we only have Wednesday and Thursday! I had to constantly wait on them to listen and even then they didn't do what I asked them to. As a result of my frustration, my directions were unclear - agitating them and me!

I'm feeling a bit deflated as I sit in last hour. I have loads to finish today and Tuesdays are always a rough day as I have a meeting at 4pm, class from 6-9pm, and another meeting at 9pm. The deadline for the paper crept up on me and I have LOADS to write!

But - the good news:

1. Tomorrow I will just try it again. Taking it slower. If we can't give the speech on Friday we will do them on Monday.
2. I got an interview at another school. It's a bigger school -- but it is three and half hours away. :(
3. Plus, I just noticed on my phone I have a mystery message. Maybe that's the new Dream Job at the Middle School calling me?

Observation #1

On Thursday of last week I had my very first observation. Meaning: A professor (or University Supervisor) came to observe me teach. I know you are all dying to hear how it went and because at the moment I can't think of a better or more appropriate introduction - it went fantastic! (I googled "Fantastic" and this is what it came up with...not my fault)

First of all - I had to wing almost everything. What I thought would take the students twenty minutes took them all of about four and half. So I improvised - a lot. But it worked out! I did have quite a few extra disciplinary issues that I don't normally - but it was the last day before the four day Easter break. I think I handled it relatively well! A couple students who generally do what I ask them (and like it) were abnormally negative - that sort of took me by surprise.

But as whole - the class went really well. After class, the US (University Supervisor) generally meets with the Student Teacher (me) for about fifteen minutes for feedback. Because I didn't have a class after, the UC and I went into the theater to talk. We were there for 80 minutes!

She absolutely loved it! She said she found herself participating in the activities and wishing she were in the class! She said she didn't write down a negative thing! My CT (Cooperating Teacher) continued to inform her that this particular class is special because of its make up of students. They both agreed that by observing the class you'd never know that!

We talked about how I was doing - I'm loving it! I may have even almost teared up a little bit (pre-menstrual). I said I loved the challenge, the unexpected, and the flexibility. I never know exactly what I'm going to get! I talked about how lucky I am to have my CT. I told her that when I leave school everyday I'm excited to return. She said she'd love to be in my class. She noticed how much the students like me and connect to me.

It was a fantastic experience. While I generally knew I was doing okay - I didn't get either of my top two choices for jobs and I started to question my abilities. It's nice to know that someone believes in me and sees how I am doing  (and likes it!). She definitely gave me the confidence boost I've been needing.


I told her about the three reading positions at the Middle School here in town. I told her that  I would "give my left leg" for one of those positions. I haven't gotten a call yet - but I did ask her if she would send in a recommendation for me. She said she'd call! Please, keep me in your thoughts. I really want one of those positions!

What is Reading?

I received an email from the Librarian at school today (in regards to student over-due fines etc) and read the following in her signature. I felt like this was the perfect day to post this. Happy reading!

"Reading is not simply an intellectual pursuit but an emotional and spiritual one. It lights the candle in the hurricane lamp of self; that's why it survives. There are book clubs and book Web sites and books on tape and books online. There are still millions of people who like the paper version, at least for now. And if that changes—well, what is a book, really? Is it its body, or its soul? Would Dickens have recognized a paperback of A Christmas Carol, or, for that matter, a Braille version? Even on a cell-phone screen, Tiny Tim can God-bless us, every one. ~~Anna Quindlen"